Do you find yourself struggling to quit porn, barely making it past the first week or even the first few days? Today, I’m going to give you 8 rules to get you 3-months sober from porn.
I remember how daunting it felt when I was grappling with a decade-long pornography addiction.
I constantly wondered what would finally help me overcome this addiction for good. If only I could reach three months of sobriety, I believed, it would transform my life!
Today, I want to share eight rules that helped me get three months sober from porn, launching me into a life of long-term sobriety.
Rule 1: Filters on Electronic Devices
I know this one’s cliché, but it can be a helpful short-term solution to get you sober.
Triggers are everywhere, and a significant part of managing them involves our screens and electronic devices.
Filters are a practical first step, though they are not a cure-all. Yes, they can be bypassed, and the very act of trying to circumvent them can intensify the addiction due to the thrill involved.
However, filters serve as a crucial barrier, helping create distance between you and your drug of choice—porn.
There are numerous filter options available, so find one that works for you and set it up on all your devices.
Rule 2: Parental Controls and Password Protection
Another layer of protection involves setting up parental controls and password protections on your devices.
This is straightforward: someone you trust, like a spouse or a close friend, holds the password.
While this isn’t foolproof, it creates an additional barrier, making it harder to access porn.
When you do need to access the internet, having your spouse or friend enter the password and then stay in the same room with you can be very helpful. It’s not fun to have to rely on someone like this (for you or them), but it is often necessary for the first several months or first few years.
Would you rather pretend you can do it all on your own and avoid the “embarrassment” of relying on someone else? Or do you want to get sober? It’s hard, but it’s freaking worth it.
Rule 3: Timeframes for Device Usage
When are you most susceptible to your addiction? For many, nighttime is a vulnerable period.
To combat this, consider handing over your devices to someone you trust during those times.
This might feel embarrassing or inconvenient, but the goal is to set up boundaries that support your sobriety.
Also, limit your time on certain apps or websites. For example, reducing your YouTube or social media time can decrease your susceptibility to triggers.
Over time, these small steps add up, helping you overcome porn addiction.
Rule 4: Set a Bedtime
It might sound unrelated, but establishing a consistent bedtime is crucial for sobriety.
Lack of sleep impairs our ability to make sound decisions, leaving us more vulnerable to addiction.
Staying up late often leads to poor decisions, including watching porn.
You could aim to go to bed early, ideally between 9:00 PM - 10:30 PM. This routine not only supports better decision-making but also aligns with a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.
I also understand that there are life circumstances that don’t really allow for this early of a bed time. Just do your best to be both proactive and reasonable.
Rule 5: Wake Up Early
“Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
Benjamin Franklin knew what the heck he was talking about.
Just as bedtime is crucial, so is wake-up time. Waking up late often leads to starting the day groggy and unmotivated.
An early start promotes a mindset of productivity and focus, reducing the allure of easy pleasures like porn.
Adjusting your wake-up time gradually can make this transition smoother. Remember, the earlier you go to bed, the easier it becomes to wake up early.
Rule 6: Avoid Being Home Alone
One of the biggest triggers for many is being home alone. I know it was this way for me for years while I was working to get rid of porn addiction.
During the initial stages of sobriety, avoid being by yourself at home. If you need to work or study, do it at a library or a coffee shop.
If your spouse is out, go for a walk, call a friend, or even leave the phone on speaker with your spouse while you’re alone. You guys don’t have to be talking, but just knowing they’re on the other end can help a lot.
These strategies might feel awkward or inconvenient, but they are temporary measures that can significantly aid in maintaining sobriety.
Rule 7: Avoid Certain Events
Temporarily avoid events that are highly triggering.
This might include concerts, beach trips, or swimming pools—places where you’re likely to encounter scantily clad individuals or environments filled with tempting stimuli.
Explain to friends and family that you’re working on your sobriety and that certain events are currently off-limits for you. This could sound something like this:
“For me it's just too triggering to be around women who are in bikinis and swimsuits right now. It just doesn't work for me. Down the road, once I have more sobriety under my belt, I'll be in a position to be able to go. But for now, that's the decision I have to make for myself. I know it sucks, and I wish I didn't need to do that. It's just the way it is for me for now.”
This might be tough, but it’s a necessary step towards breaking free from porn addiction.
And if someone doesn't respect that, frankly that's up to them. This is about your sobriety. It's not about their opinion of you. This is about you making choices that will change the rest of your life.
Rule 8: Choose Meaningful Activities
Be mindful of your daily activities. Spending hours on passive entertainment like TV or mindless internet browsing can keep you in a pleasure-oriented mindset, making you more susceptible to porn addiction.
Instead, engage in activities that bring meaning and purpose to your life. This might include hobbies, spending quality time with loved ones, exercising, or volunteering.
Filling your time with meaningful activities helps create a fulfilling and balanced life, reducing the allure of porn.
Break Free of Porn Addiction for Good
These eight rules are not a quick fix, but they provide a solid foundation for overcoming pornography addiction.
Each step builds on the other, helping you break free from porn addiction and create a life of sobriety and fulfillment.
Remember, it's about progress, not perfection. Small, consistent steps will lead you to a healthier, more empowered life.
I have a question for you. What have you tried so far to quit porn? Internet filters, accountability buddies, talk therapy, church or religious programs… Many of these have merit, but they are often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety.
It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges. The No More Desire Intensive Recovery Program addresses these challenges by guiding you through each step to build a recovery mindset and a recovery lifestyle.
This is done using hands-on, daily exercises that retrain the brain and forge new habits that last a lifetime. Once this recovery mindset and lifestyle are established, the desire for porn naturally fades.
If you want to take the next step to overcome your porn addiction for good, check out my Free Workshop: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn. I will give you a practical and applied roadmap for recovery, including…
The REAL root causes of porn addiction.
How to stop porn cravings before they start.
The 5 Levels of Cognition that influence addiction.
The 4 Unconscious Drivers of porn cravings.
How sexual shame fuels pornography addiction.
1 simple daily practice to get out of the addiction funnel
And a whole lot more
You can also check out my Free eBook: The 10 Tools to Conquer Cravings, which gives you 10 quick mental techniques that you can use anytime, anywhere to redirect your mind and replace porn cravings with new thought patterns and mental habits.
So, head to nomoredesire.com to watch the Free Workshop or pick up the Free eBook and get going on the next steps of your recovery journey.
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Transcription: Episode 55 - 8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
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