Have you ever had a streak of sobriety, only to go on a vacation or business trip and relapse on porn? In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to take a proactive approach.
One of the most counterintuitive things about vacation is that it can be one of the greatest triggers for relapse. Vacation takes us out of our norms and routines, giving way to unanticipated complications and temptations.
Business trips can also lead to porn relapse, as we are often under pressure and stress during the day and alone in our hotel room during the night. It’s the perfect storm.
You need to set yourself up for success. Recovery is not just going to “happen”. It is deliberate. It is planned. This is true when it comes to travel, especially during the first few years of your porn addiction recovery.
Why Vacations Can Lead to Porn Relapse
Ironically, vacations can be one of the most triggering situations for many who’ve struggled with pornography addiction.
“Going with the flow” and being away from structure and responsibilities can seem like the exact thing you need to stay sober from porn. But the reality is often the opposite of what you need to quit porn.
Those who struggle with addiction often have intense minds. We crave meaning, purpose, and excitement. While these forms of meaning, purpose, and excitement may look a bit different for each individual, we all crave them.
If we don’t get these things to a reasonable degree each day, we may find it hard not to seek out addiction as a cheap way to "fill the hole."
So, it’s up to us to find simple, practical ways to provide ourselves with the healthy outlets and structure necessary to get our daily dose of meaning, purpose, and excitement so we can break porn addiction.
Why Business Trips Can Lead to Porn Relapse
Business trips can be another massive trigger for recovering addicts. These can be high-pressure events where we feel the need to impress high-level professionals and network connections, or face endless hours of education and courses.
All of this requires deep focus, and at the end of it all it can be easy to feel like we need a break or “release”. Addictions can often be our brain’s go-to in order to temporarily “alleviate” this stress.
We are also often alone on business trips, which can make us more vulnerable to acting out because no one is there to watch us.
If we want to stay sober on a business trip, we need to be wise, deliberate, and pre-emptive. We need to establish a system that supports our porn recovery while we’re out there.
How to Build a Safety Plan to Stay Sober From Porn on Vacations & Business Trips
Setting up a “Safety Plan” can be a very good initiative to keep yourself out of vulnerable mental and physical spaces during your vacation or business trip so you can stay clean of porn.
A safety plan to stay sober on vacations and business trips will include:
Daily Schedules
Daily Self Care Routines
Personal Triggers & Solutions
The very best way to fight pornography addiction while traveling is careful planning. Don’t just “show up.” Make a plan, stick to it, and forgive yourself when you’re not perfect at it. Keep practicing, and learn from mistakes for the next trip.
Solutions to Stop Watching Porn While Traveling
In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to know the main triggers and risks you face while traveling.
I have outlined each of these triggers for porn addiction below, along with specific solutions to stay sober while traveling.
TRIGGER: Stop Daily Routines (physical, mental, spiritual, and relational)
It can be easy to let daily routines go due to being in “vacation mode”, or due to the busy-ness of a work trip. When we do this, we set ourselves up for slips and relapses.
SOLUTION: Daily Routines (physical, mental, spiritual, and relational)
Addiction doesn’t take a break, so you can’t either. There is no such thing as a break from recovery. Not even on vacation or a business trip.
Keeping up your daily routines will likely require you to go to bed and wake up earlier than everyone else. It will likely require you to skip some or all of that late night work party.
You’ll probably put up with some peer pressure or teasing, or miss out on some opportunities. Which sucks. But it’s just part of the commitment to recovery. Do you want to “join the party” late into the night, or do you want to stay sober? (This does depend on the situation of course. Be wise.)
To learn more about daily routines, check out my Free Workshop: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn.
TRIGGER: Planning and Packing
Planning and packing can feel overwhelming for many of us. When things don’t go smoothly (and they rarely do), we may become upset or angry, and this can lead us to want to escape.
SOLUTION: Accept that Things Rarely Go According to Plan on Trips/Vacations
Find peace in the chaos and accept that you do not need to control the outcomes. Easier said than done, no doubt. Just practice reminding yourself of this, and over time make small mental steps in this direction.
TRIGGER: Drinking While on a Business Trip
Many people find they relapse with porn when they are drunk. Work parties often involve late-night drinking. This is a breeding ground for unwise decisions, including relapsing once the party is said and done and you’re back in your hotel room.
SOLUTION: Either Keep it in Check or Don’t Drink (Easier Said than Done)
This solution is easier said than done. You’ve got to keep the drinking to a minimum. A drink or two, and that’s it. It’s either that, or not at all.
As a recovering porn addict, you can’t afford to put yourself in an inebriated state of mind. It’s too risky. You have a lot of excuses for drinking. None of them are good enough.
If you can’t avoid drinking once you’re at the party, then don’t go to the party. Instead, head to a restaurant and get some french fries, call up your wife on the phone to chat, or do something else that's decently stimulating, and then head to bed.
TRIGGER: Poor Sleeping Schedule
Going to bed excessively late and waking up late can play a role in feeling unstable, anxious, depressed, lazy, listless etc. These feelings set you up for craving destructive/addictive outlets to relieve or distract you from the suffering.
SOLUTION: Keep a Reasonable Sleep Schedule
Going to bed and waking up later than usual is probably fine. Try, though, to avoid the all-or-nothing, extreme addict mentality.
You can stay up a little late, without pushing it to 1:00 am. Keep some structure. That way, you’ll feel more stable and the transition will be easier after the vacation/trip is over.
TRIGGER: Over-consumption of TV, Social Media, and Other Electronic Entertainment
The research on this is clear. These activities and devices overstimulate and drain the brain of dopamine, thereby decreasing focus, motivation, connectedness, and overall feelings of well-being. We need to cultivate these feelings in order to stay sober.
SOLUTION: Limit Consumption of Electronic Entertainment
Keep the use of electronics to a minimum, otherwise you will crave more dopamine and addictive behaviors are a quick answer for that craving.
To learn more about this concept, check out my Free Workshop: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn.
TRIGGER: Poor Diet
Due to being in “party mode” or being too busy, many of us can eat very poorly on vacations and business trips. We need to understand that a poor diet is going to heavily impact our mood, energy levels, hormone levels, and more. Our recovery hinges on these mental health factors.
SOLUTION: Eat Whole, Healthy Foods
We need to determine how we are going to incorporate healthy, whole foods throughout our trip or vacation.
While I recommend eating a clean diet to fuel porn recovery in general, I realize that people are not robots and everyone’s diet looks different. Don’t aim for perfection. Instead, simply incorporate veggies and other whole foods throughout the day.
I also recommend bringing some nuts or seeds along with you. Pop a couple handfuls in your mouth a few times throughout the day in order to get Omega-3 fatty acids in your diet. These good fats will improve your focus and mood.
Avoid processed foods and sugars. This is a lot easier said than done, but if you can work on this it is going to heavily impact your mood, energy levels, hormone levels, and more. Our recovery hinges on these mental health factors.
TRIGGER: Feeling High Expectations of What Vacation “Should Be” Like (For Yourself, Spouse, or Kids)
When we carry high expectations and they are not met, we can feel disappointed or overwhelmed and seek a “fix” to escape, numb out, or “fill the hole”.
SOLUTION: Live in the Moment
Forget about your agenda and expectations.
Get connected, be present with each other, and accept the imperfect moment.
Put phones and electronic devices aside when you can. These devices can add to feelings of impatience and dopamine cravings.
TRIGGER: Feeling Listless, Lazy, or Bored
When we don’t have plans, but instead just sit around or “relax” while we’re on vacation, this can set us up for seeking out novelty or something to keep us occupied, which sets us up for relapse.
SOLUTION: Make Plans
Before you go, plan fun and exciting activities for vacation. Set up a schedule for you and your family. Stay reasonably busy, with short periods of kicking back and relaxing.
Don’t give yourself time to be listless, but instead find a good balance between “chilling” and doing new, fun, or interesting things. This will increase your likelihood of feeling satisfied and staying ahead of cravings.
Laziness and boredom can only be experienced when we are focusing on our own wants and needs. Get caught up in serving and making the experience enjoyable for others. Forget about yourself. You won’t be perfect at this. Just practice.
TRIGGER: Family Conflict on Vacation
Vacation can sometimes be a place of conflict because we are spending so much time together. This is also often the case because of the triggers mentioned above, as these can fuel negative emotions (or a lack of positive emotions), which can lead to conflict.
Be aware of each of these triggers and imperfectly practice developing systems and habits based on the solutions. These and other healthy habits you implement will help you feel more stable and happy on vacations.
SOLUTION: Serve Your Loved Ones
Instead of asking “What’s in it for me?”, or, “How can I have a good time?”, ask, “How will I try to make this special for my wife/kids?”
TRIGGER: Being Alone on Business Trips
On business trips, it is often the case that you are alone. You travel alone, have your own hotel room, and sleep by yourself. Many recovering addicts can find it extremely difficult to stay sober under these circumstances.
SOLUTION: Daily Phone Calls or Bringing Family Members With You
Here are a few solutions to being alone on a business trip:
Take Your Family With You: You may have the ability to pay for your family to come on the trip with you. This could be a sacrifice for them, but if it keeps you sober isn’t that worth it? After years of sobriety, you may no longer need to do this. But it could be necessary in the beginning until you build sufficient recovery mindset and lifestyle habits.
Call Your Family On the Phone Every Day: Stay in regular contact with your family members. This will help you stay connected and remember what’s important to you.
Call Your Spouse and Keep Them on the Phone While You Sleep: You can call your spouse and keep them on the phone while you fall asleep. They don’t have to stay awake the whole time, but it can be good just having them there. This seems funny, but it can be really effective during the first 2-3 years of recovery while you are working through challenges. Eventually, you will be able to trust yourself and fall asleep without this.
Bunk Up: Depending on the situation, it may be appropriate for you to ask a coworker if they want to get a room with you. This way, you won’t be alone.
TRIGGER: Returning Home from Trips and Vacations
We may unconsciously feel pressure or trepidation returning home as this signifies getting “back to the grind”. We also have been out of our routine for days, and returning to structure can feel intimidating. The mind may seek a distraction or a fix for these feelings.
SOLUTION: Returning Home from Vacation
Become aware of and expect the unconscious pressure or trepidation of returning home. It isn’t easy coming back off vacation.
Recognize the resistance you feel toward returning to the norm and daily routines. Accept that it is difficult. It doesn’t make you bad or weak. Just human. Give yourself understanding and compassion, and remember that these feelings are temporary for a few days or so. They will fade and you will acclimatize.
How to Stop Watching Porn on Business Trips and Vacations
If you want to stop watching porn when you travel, you need to build a personalized safety plan that addresses your specific triggers.
By keeping up daily routines, staying connected with family, and preventing vulnerability, you can overcome porn addiction one step at a time.
Take deliberate steps to build a safety plan to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations. This will empower you to continue your porn addiction recovery journey, ensuring that travel doesn’t derail your progress but instead strengthens your commitment to a life without porn.
If you’re ready to get rid of porn addiction, set up a Free 30-min Consultation with me. During the call, you and I will break down the causes of your porn addiction together. You will gain personalized direction and insights for your recovery, and I’ll answer any questions that you have about the program. Set up your Free Consultation now.
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